Stephen M. Hannemann

Some Things I’ve Learned

Tuesday, November 27th, 2018

Several years ago I gave a short speech at my Toastmasters group. Apparently someone thought it was funny and asked that I share it here with you.

Now, understand the comments made about my Catholic grade school experience were for humorous effect only. I am thankful for the set of values instilled in me at that early age and they have served me well through my life.

With that stated, I hope you enjoy.

Once upon a time, on July 3rd 1942, after being extruded through a dark and rather confined passage, I popped into the light looking much like a pink string bean. I distinctly remember my mother’s first words, “Well Adolph, I guess we won’t have to send your cigar holder back to Germany after all.” This, my mother said, because Father feared he may not receive a son after the birth of a daughter two and a half years earlier.

That’s when I learned I was a boy!

It seems the next thing I learned was a lesson in honesty. My father sternly and slowly asked, Stephen did you break Mommy’s rose bush?” With eyes as big as soup plates, I looked up into my father’s grave face and silently wagged my head back and
forth, no-o-o.

That’s when I learned my buttocks were the landing pad for discipline.

Life went on, and in the first grade I learned some more stuff. Being taught by the Sisters of the Vicious Blood from the order of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion, about the second time the ruler came down to smack me on the knuckles, I pulled my hands out of the way because that sucker hurt like a son of a gun. That’s when I learned I was a quick study in logic. Immediately after, I Was towed to the principal’s office by my ear. The Mother Superior deemed me incorrigible. I thought, that’s nice because I thought I was pretty cuddly, too.

I went along in life, continuing to learn, and eventually married and had children. While raising children, I learned that I didn’t have all of the answers. However, by the time my children reached age thirteen, they did!

I learned during my motor cycle and water ski racing days that when you crash a motorcycle or step off a water ski at over 100 mph, it hurts!

I learned during my days as a woodsman, when you walk in the woods in bear country, you should wear a bell so the bears can hear you and avoid you. I also learned the differences in bear sign (poop). The more docile and shy Black Bear’s sign is dark in color, and full of berry seeds. The more aggressive Grizzly Bear’s sign is a little lighter and reddish in color and has bits of bone and bells in it.

A few years ago, I joined a Toastmasters group to improve my public speaking skills. I learned the more effort that I put into their programs, the greater the reward for myself and our club. They are very good at mentoring and coaching and I learned a great deal from their tutelage. One member explained that I needed to use my hands and arms more – be more expressive and expansive with my gestures. Another member counseled that I had too much movement with my feet, ‘Happy Feet,” he termed the anomaly. After much study and practice, I realized when I moved my hands, my feet moved also. The more expansive and expressive my arms, the happier my feet became. Am I a marionette, I wondered? It made me go, hmmm. I suggested my two mentors get together and discuss this.

Life continues on, and as I reflect, I realize that I have been blessed with all I have learned. I find I learn more when I keep my mouth shut, and my ears, mind and heart open. So as I rapidly approach another anniversary of my birth, please indulge me while I impart a few more bits of wisdom that I have learned along the way:
– If you want something to move, and it won’t – use WD-40.
– If something moves, and you don’t want it to move -use duct tape.
– And in closing, if you can’t fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Create a memorable day…

Stephen
Stephen M. Hannemann – © 2018 all rights reserved.

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